Too busy

I've been guilty of being too busy for reality. Read on...

This article made a huge impression on me. I've been thinking about it for days now and I cannot escape the feeling of guilt and shame. See, I got pulled into this wonderful world of virtual friendships. After all what is not to like? They e-friendships are so easy to maintain: a short message, a Facebook 'like' click, an occasional email; virtual relationships do not require commitment, they don't affect me too much - I can have hundreds of friends, support them with a few clicks on my keyboard or iphone and can feel good about myself without feeling their pain when they suffer, but also without really feeling their joy when they are happy. Sadly enough, when I examine my life, I see that many of my real friends have moved, or was it me who moved them, into the virtual domain too. I know, I am not the only guilty one here. After all I am in their virtual world also. We still call and meet but not as often as we used to. It is easier to email. It is even easier to text or exchange messages on Facebook. We tell each other how busy we are. Too busy to talk? Too busy to listen? Too busy to meet face to face? 

If I claim I am busy but I find the time to watch a movie, browse the internet, make silly comments on Facebook, I am sending a message to the universe that in my life those things have a priority over true and real relationships. I am creating a world for myself in which real people are replaced by screen images and talk is replaced by clicks.
Is this the kind of a world I want to live in? I don't think so.

For a number of months now I've been struggling with the question of the value of the virtual world. I am not trying to knock the internet down. I love what it can do for us. I have connected with some amazing people through this technology, people I would have never had a chance to exchange ideas with otherwise. But at the same time I am realizing that I've been using it as an excuse or maybe an escape from real life. Because being a real friend can be difficult, sometimes painful, definitely time consuming. 

When a real friend is talking, I cannot press the mute button. When tears show in my real friend's eyes, I cannot minimize or better yet, kill the window. When a real friend needs support, I cannot pretend I don't see it like I can with emails or text messages. 

I cannot put real friendships, real relationships on hold for when I am less busy, or feel more like helping, being there, and listening. And that availability is what true friendship means to me. I have not been too bad in that department but I am afraid I am sinking into this holodeck world and I don't like it one little bit.

So I made a promise to myself and to my real and virtual friends that I will never refuse them time and space in my reality. As long as I have any time to spend in the virtual world, I will donate it gladly to whoever wants or needs a real talk where one can hear the other's tone of voice, see the face expression, can touch and hug if needed. No more 'busy' excuses, because in my life, I know that for sure, these are just excuses.